Bribe vs. Earned Reward

How do you encourage a child to make the right decisions? Some parents are fond of using the carrot, and some seem to prefer the stick. I'm not going to touch on the "war" surrounding which "stick" measures are preferred or even allowable. Instead, today I want to look at the different methods of "carrot" one can employ.

Goal oriented, Sneak's never been afraid to work for what she wants.

When is a reward a bribe, and when is it something that's been earned? I think this is an important distinction when the goal is teaching your child a work ethic and intrinsic motivation. After all, when you break it down, what's a paycheck but a reward earned through a set period of work?

Get 'em Moving. Keep 'em Learning.

Ever noticed how it seems sensory integration and attention deficit disorders have increased as we've cut back on recess and the amount children play outside? I'm not saying a lack of physical activity causes these problems, but it certainly doesn't help the symptoms. Childhood is a time of intense physical as well as mental development, and the body not only needs but demands all types of movement and sensations in order to facilitate these developments. These demands can present as many of the symptoms listed for ADD, ADHD, various sensory disorders, and more.

So what is a parent to do?

Reorienting in Coping with Dyslexia

I came across this photo making the rounds on Facebook today. It sparked a bit of nostalgia in me.

Yet another Facebook, "If you can read this," meme.

Learning to read backwards and upside down is how I learned to reorient letters. I seriously thought everyone could do it until I asked a coworker about something on a sign posted outside our window, and they responded by questioning how I could read the sign. It was only five years ago, when Hubby was taking the Ortton-Gillingham training that I learned it was one of the earliest methods of helping children with dyslexia learn how to reorient letters. Unfortunately, it's also a method that's effective for just 5% of those dealing with dyslexia, and while I might be part of that percentage, the girls aren't.

When Perfectionism Threatens Progress

Long time readers might recall our frustrations over Sneak's perfectionism, manifesting as early as eighteen months when she refused to speak until her annunciation was up to her standards. Before then, I'd always assumed it was a learned trait, but recently Boo Bear has been showing more and more signs of the perfectionism monster stalking her. So, I've begun to wonder if there isn't some genetic component. Lord knows I've been fighting perfectionism as long as I can remember, as have the majority of the women in my family.

There's this perception that perfectionism is a motivating force that drives people forward through thick and thin until they get everything just right. It's not. At its root, perfectionism is a paralytic. Either the fear of failure keeps the person from ever starting in the first place, or they try, get something wrong or off, and then get so obsessed with that fact they never move forward or try again. "If I can't get it right, why should I even try?" is a common question asked by perfectionists.

Because of this, it can be a homeschooler's worst nightmare.

Your Words Matter: The Long Term Impact of a Teacher's Word Choice on Elementary Children

Here in the U.S. there seems to be a mindset amongst officials, parents, and even some teachers that the early years of a child's school career only matter as a starting point. Pre-K through third grade mostly focus on teaching a child to sit still and be quiet for hours at a time, to read and write and count and tie their shoes, and how to follow rules. Beyond this, little counts. Marks given in these grades don't count toward graduation or college acceptance beyond the child having passed through them to get to the next level, so what does it matter?

First Grade/Pre-K field trip to Cook's Natural History Museum.

Yet, it's in these early grades where we develop deep rooted ideas of self. Ask a child to describe themselves at the end of each year, and you'll see almost every one will have the same answer from third grade through the rest of their lives. Where do they get this self-image? Where did you get yours?

When Homeschooled Children with Learning Differences Feel Self-Conscious

When I got home from work one day last week, Hubby asked me to step in with Boo Bear's reading lessons. For the first time, she was refusing to make use of the tips and tricks for readers with dyslexia he picked up with his Orton-Gillingham training. He was at a loss for her reasoning and becoming frustrated.

Boo Bear working on her handwriting and spelling.

I immediately had a suspicion. Sneak hasn't shown any signs of having inherited dyslexia, and Boo Bear, while she's seen me read every day throughout her life, hasn't seen me use similar techniques since she was a toddler because I haven't needed them as much since Hubby stopped needing my help grading papers. So, I suspected she might be feeling embarrassed because it seems to her that her younger sister is "smarter" because she doesn't struggle as much with reading.