September 5, 2011

Writing Challenge One

Today's writing challenge for the Writer's Platform-Building Campaign is to write a piece of flash fiction no more than 200 words long beginning with the words "the door swung open." For an extra challenge, we were to keep to exactly 200 words and end with "the door swung shut."  

Below is my entry. It's exactly 200 words long and is set in the Yekara universe a week or so before Right of Succession begins.

Ralic's Mistake

The door swung open, the well maintained hinges giving her no warning save its motion. Chantal shoved the papers she’d gathered between the pages of the tome she carried before her father entered. He was deep in conversation with his steward, giving her precious seconds to calm herself.



“Chantal,” Ralic said, “I wasn’t expecting you.”



“I finished my studies early, Father. I wanted to see if you’d take lunch with me,” she lied. Her heart beat in her chest like a wild thing, and she marveled neither her father nor his steward could hear it. If they knew she’d stolen records from Ralic, her father would turn her over to Eugrin for punishment, daughter or no. What would he do if he knew what she intended to do with them?



“If only I could, precious,” Ralic replied. “Unfortunately the rarity of pleasant days during transition leaves little time for rest when they come.”



“I understand, Father.” Chantal nodded slowly, trying her hardest to appear disappointed and understanding instead of giving away her relief. “I’ll leave you to it then.”



She nodded to Eugrin as she stepped into the hall, only allowing herself a secret smile as the door swung shut.

18 comments:

  1. Absolutely intriguing and makes me wish there was more! more! more!

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  2. Thank you very much! And there is. I'm publishing Right of Succession right here on the blog.

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  3. Lots of tension running through this one. A great take on the challenge. D

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  4. I would definitely read on to find out more!

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  5. Great tension, and very nicely done! Leaves me with all sorts of questions. :D

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  6. I just wanted to congratulate you as you have been picked by me to be fast-tracked to the next round of judging!

    Good luck=)

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  7. Thank you all. I'm glad to hear it had good tension. That's something I've always felt I had trouble pulling off.

    Oh wow, thank you Kathleen!

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  8. Good tension. I was waiting to see if she'd get caught. Mine is #72

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  9. leave them wanting more - well done

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  10. You did a very good job hinting at an intriguing story, but I found a number of lines a bit awkward, so I had to re-read them a couple of times to understand. One such example would be the father's line starting with, "Unfortunately the rarity of pleasant days..."

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  11. Oh the lie is so intriguing--I want to turn the page! Nice!

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  12. Interesting! She's stealing records, but what exactly are these records? Nice job!

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  13. Welcome everyone.

    @1000th Monkey, You're right. I didn't catch that until it was too late.

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  14. Hey, great post! I keep reading all these contest entries and wondering what happens next! So...are you going to expand? I'd love to hear more.
    Mine's #262 (http://pensuasion.blogspot.com/)

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  15. Have to wonder what's on those papers that's worth stealing. Great flash fiction!

    Thank you for coming by my entry. :)

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  16. Very intriguing and tense! Good job!
    I am trying to get around to visit, read and follow as many campaigner's as I can. It has been such fun...

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