February 4, 2009

Who am I?

You'd think it would be an obvious thing to someone not afflicted with amnesia to answer, but I've been struggling with the question of who exactly I am for some time now. I used to have a very clear cut idea of who I was and who I wanted to become. Then life took a sharp left turn while I was sleeping and forgot to tell me.

I'd always hoped to be a wife and mother some day. My dream was to be able to stay home with my children and write novels while they napped or were at school, but I thought it wasn't likely to happen. So, I prepared myself for the life of a working mother who would occasionally sneak in a few minutes to write here and there, and maybe, just maybe I'd get my first novel published by the time I hit forty.

Well, as you can tell by the name of this blog, I am a mother. I married Hubby in early April 2005, and now we have two beautiful girls, Boo and Sneak, who are separated by two years and three weeks exactly.

The left turn came four months after Boo was born. To make a long story short, several events culminated in my leaving work to become a stay-at-home-mom.

I was so happy at first, but over time, I began feeling guilty. It's the plague of mothers, isn't it? We always seem to feel guilty about something, and in my case it was my staying home while Hubby stressed himself to the max about being able to support us. (Unfortunately, stressing and worrying over things we have tentative control over at best is a part of both our personalities we're striving to change.)

So, I've been looking for a way to work from home while still giving my girls the attention they need and deserve these last two years. I've tried lots of things, and all of them failed spectacularly. Well, aside from the one house I clean each week anyway. The owner is family, so I'm not sure if that counts.

I think the problem is I've been trying to fit myself into molds other folks have used. I'm not a saleswoman. I never have been. Even when I was just helping with band fundraisers in high school, I stunk at closing a sale. So, I've decided to give it another go with my strengths for good or ill, even though I highly doubt it will bring much of a profit for our family.

It can't do any worse than the other things I've tried, right?

So, who am I? Well, I'm a mother of two under three. I am a writer, and I'm a woman well used to getting by on a shoe string budget.

Ah ha! There we go. I read a blog post regarding how difficult it can be to eat healthily on a severe budget just yesterday, and I've been whittling down our grocery budget for months now. I've been coming up with new recipes or variations on old ones for years. Maybe I'll write a budget savers cookbook.

* Picture is Boo and Sneak playing back in December.


  1. I think sharing your budget tips and recipes is a great way to go. A lot of people are looking for new ways to save money these days and food is a huge cost for most.

    There are lots of work at home possibilities out there. I tried TONS of different business ideas before I struck gold as a freelance writer. Don`t give up!

  2. Thanks for commenting, Genesis.

    I actually broke ground with the idea last night after putting the girls to bed. I'm thinking it will probably take about three months to put together, especially since I'm still developing new cheep but nutritious recipes, but it feels great to be working toward a goal it won't take a year or more to achieve.