Everyone's been talking about Valentine's Day lately, and there've been heart shaped boxes of chocolates and whatnot on shelves almost since December 26. Am I the only one that just doesn't get it?
|Valentine's Day confuses me.|
If you enjoy the holiday and like celebrating it, more power to you. But it's something Hubby and I just can't get into. It feels too manufactured to actually be romantic, so we just skip it.
We're one of those odd couples that'd either of us would get irritated if the other one spent money on overpriced chocolates, flowers, or Lord forbid, jewelry. Back before we got married, and now, we're one of those frugal (*cough* broke and cheap *cough*) couples who make or do something for the other when we want to be romantic or what have you. It's amazing how far the little things can go toward making any day special. Simple things like taking the time to make their favorite meal, take a few chores off their to do list without being asked, writing them a love letter, or even something as simple as bringing them a cup of coffee or a snack when they're working too hard to think about taking care of themselves have a bigger impact on the relationship than you'd think at first glance.
Cliche phrases are cliche for a reason, and one of the biggest ones is, "Actions speak louder than words." It might sound trite, but it's something that's also true. Hubby loves getting gifts for people, the girls and myself included, but they're never something we've needed to know he loves us. (Harken back to the one of us would get irked if the other spent beyond needs on us comment above though. We both eventually learned.) The thing is, when you spend the year showing your partner what you mean to them, gifts and over the top displays become extraneous.
What do I need with flowers that will wither and die inside a week when he massages my shoulders when their aching and makes sure I don't forget to eat when I'm completely in the zone with the current project? If the love that drives couples to look after one another isn't there, will a glittery bobble fix that? Why would I be upset over not receiving a gift or gesture of affection on some arbitrary date that has nothing to do with us as a couple if I see how much my husband cares for me day to day?
This is why the holiday celebrated on February 14 makes no sense to me anymore. I'll admit, as a lonely teenage girl and young woman who'd never been in a relationship, it seemed like a thing to want. Popular culture plays it up as this big thing, and it didn't click in my mind as being a rom com writer's formula until I started looking toward a career in writing myself. But then I found the young man who would one day become my husband.
Our very first Valentine's was only five and a half months into our relationship. Thinking it was a crying shame I'd never gotten a Valentine from a boy, aside from the grades in elementary school where everyone has to get cards for everyone else, he went all out. I was more than a little overwhelmed and flabbergasted, but appreciative of the sentiment behind the gesture. Afterwards, we talked and decided that from that point forward we'd rather show our care for one another throughout the year instead of concentrating on holidays and anniversaries, and it's worked for us since.
Honestly, I don't know where I'm going with this. It's not like I don't offer a couple Valentine's Day special soaps in the store for those who do enjoy the holiday. I guess I just get irritated by how it seems I'm expected to be super excited about this holiday simply because I'm in a relationship, and only bitter singles hate it. Well, I don't hate it, maybe dislike how the girls drool over the huge boxes of chocolate for months, but not hate. I just don't care about it personally other than wishing all the chocolate would hurry up and disappear from stores before my willpower crumbles.