March 23, 2009

Sometimes the Answers Breed Questions

Well, I heard back from the doctor. As it turns out, I was somewhat misled by the partner's nurse. My numbers were on the low side for one particular test, but they were still within the normal range.

While it's good to know I can rule out diabetes, especially given a thick family history, thyroid issues, and other endocrine problems, I'm still left wondering why my efforts to regain a healthy weight have by and large been unsuccessful. I am fifteen pounds down from where I was two years and nine months ago, but that's as far as I've been able to go. I still need to loose roughly fifty pounds, but the scale simply refuses to budge.

Perhaps the increase in joint and ligament pain I've been trying to ignore has something to do with it. (Five years of stress fractures, hyperextended joints, and inflamed ligaments sustained in the martial arts are starting to come back to bite me in the rear as I age.) It would stand to reason I might be holding back during some workouts more than I realize.

Sometimes it makes you wonder if all this work is for nothing. I've been going slightly hungry 24/7 and exercising as much and as hard as I can, and I just keep hoovering. It's a near constant struggle not to give in to the worry I'm just doomed to be sick at every turn and look slightly toad-like the rest of my days.

* The picture is of Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix movie. She is described as a toad-like woman in pink frills and bows in the books. The book illustration is a bit more spot on, looks wise, but my scanner stinks.

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